Snippets That Embody The Reality of Being a Single 22 Year Old

“I am a Cocoon of angst”

“Generally I just feel like I embody Tswifts ‘darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a day dream’ minus being dressed like a daydream”

“Literally I just ate a square foot of carbs and I’m so thrilled about it”

“Two girls ride up in an elevator. One gets off to get free cookies. The other gets off to workout. Which one could be me?”

“Raise your hand if you are exhausted, a little hung over, were hit on by a creepy manager, and still didn’t get the hot guy’s number.”

“There will not be a second date………”

“I literally just fell off a chair trying to kill a spider”

“They don’t make them cookie cutter boo. Believe me I’ve looked. The cookies cutter looking ones are laden with mental deficits”

**PS. HUGE shout out to my besties and our group text. You make adulting smile-worthy

Six of Hearts.

Myself and a few co-workers went out to dinner to celebrate someone’s birthday. Our reservations weren’t until 8:30 and as such, by the time we finished we were one of the last remaining tables. At the end of the meal the waiter spent a few minutes chatting with us.

He explained that he has worked as a waiter in that particular restaurant for 11 years and served over 500,000 people. (“Half a million if you didn’t know what that means.”) At this point, he’s developed the skills to understand his customer and what it will take to “elevate their dining experience two or three octaves.”

As a table we remarked on how impressive it was, and I blurted that it would be a great skill to have in sales.

He scoffed. “Sales. Let me tell you something about sales”

He pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and scrawled something on it. He put the paper face down on the table and put a plate on top of it.

“Think about a deck of cards…. there are four suits: hearts, diamonds, clubs, spades, two colors: red and black, numbers and face cards.”

“Choose a color, black? Right, and that leaves red? Yes?” Yes. “And there are two red suits. Hearts and Diamonds. Choose one. Hearts? OK. Now there are face cards and numbers. Pick one. Numbers? OK. High or low? Low. Got it. SO, six or eight. Eight? So that leaves six of hearts right?”

The waiter moved the plate and I flipped over the piece of paper revealing a 6 scrawled inside of a lopsided heart.

“Now see, I can sell you anything if I can lead you to it and make you think that its what you chose.”

The waiter went on to say, “Now ladies, I have a daughter just about your age, and I’ve told her time and time again, if I can make you believe you chose the six of hearts, a guy can make you believe that you chose to go home with him.”

Whoa. That got really real, really fast. But he was right, if you don’t know what you want, if you haven’t made a choice, someone else will choose for you. And they will lead you straight to the Six of Hearts.

Are you my Soul Mate?

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Our brunch came with desserts. BRUNCH DESSERTS. Yes. They were magical. No. I didn’t take a picture before we devoured them.

Confession: I’m relatively inexperienced in the realm of romantic relationships. (read: I have exactly zero serious or semi-serious relationships in my history)

But what I do know a lot about is friendship. I feel fairly confident in saying that most people in their 20’s have had a friend or two or twenty in their day. We start learning about friendship in preschool — share your toys, find friends who like to play the same games, take turns — the basics.

As we get older, the circumstances surrounding friendship change. We are miles apart, have to financially support ourselves, and the realities of the big bad world catch up with us. But the basics stay the same.

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The sign outside the brunch restaurant with bottomless mimosas. (Don’t worry mom, we we’re responsible adults)

This weekend I got to have a girls weekend with one of my best friends. We brunched (with bottomless mimosas), and napped, and walked, and talked, acted weird, shared TMI and ate our weight in raspberries and cake balls. We went out and adventured and slothed in bed and watched old chick flicks (shout out to Step Up and The Notebook).

It was awesome. And I came to the conclusion that eventually when that time rolls around I basically want to date a male version of my best friends.

I figure if my future significant other has at least some the qualities my best friends have we will be pretty dang compatible people.

You Can’t Make This Up

Dating in the 21st century is dicey. There are more places than ever to meet people. There is Match.com, FarmersOnly, ChristianMingle, Tinder, and then there is the real world!

In our adventures in various cities, myself and three friends have carefully crafted tinder profiles to attempt to sleuth out some compatible gentlemen.

Now it IS true that it takes all types. And I believe that there is someone for everyone. But some of this you just can’t make up. What follows is a few samples of the unique individuals that we have come across over the past few weeks.

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So that’s dating in the real world folks. Technology connects us to more people than ever. You come across people from walks of life that you would otherwise be unlikely to cross paths with. And you get less than 200 characters and five pictures to create a spark of attraction. (Pun intended).